Love the One You're With

I have a spiritual strength that far exceeds my physical weaknesses.  Generally when I think about who I am, I relate to my spiritual and intellectual self, and I have accepted my physical self only because it is part of the package. 

Because I believe in an all-knowing, all-powerful God, I believe that there is purpose in everything.  This life and everything I experience is part of his plan for me to become the person he knows I can become. I have often thought I would not want someone else’s trials.  No matter how they compare to my own, whether easier or harder, they are not meant for me.  They are not what I need, and on some level, my spirit recognizes that and embraces my challenges as my necessities. 

I am now trying to look at my body through those eyes.  Many bodies are more beautiful, more aesthetically pleasing, stronger and healthier than mine.  (There are also bodies that are weaker and sicker and more handicapped than mine.)  It does no good to covet a better body or to lament the one I have.  It is important to realize that the body I have was made specifically for me.  I was not arbitrarily assigned a body.  This body, with its specific strengths, weaknesses, proportions and limitations, is exactly what I need to learn, change and progress as I move toward perfection.  Only the temptations this body struggles with can help me overcome my weaknesses and develop those virtues I lack.  Only the experiences of this body can enrich my time on this earth.  My soul has specific needs, and this is the body that will lead me to the fulfillment of those needs.

I am not a latecomer to obesity.  I reached this state before the age of five, probably around three.  Not one thing in my life has not in some way been touched by that fact.  Every experience has been colored, promoted, enhanced, retarded or prevented by it.  So all of the things I have learned or accomplished in life to arrive at who I am right now are thanks in part to this body.  Everything that I have not experienced or been exposed to are also in part thanks to this body.  This isn’t just a fat body I happen to be in.  It really is me.  It is exactly what I require on my path through mortality. 

Whatever it looks like at this time, whatever problems it currently carries, it has produced results in my being that are very appealing and satisfying to my soul, so I have found a great appreciation for this body that is not coveted by anyone and is not reverenced by most.  Still it is what is taking me toward perfection if I can just stay the course and continue to let my body and my spirit work together in harmony with the Holy Ghost as he guides me through the rest of this mortal test.