Let's Get This Party Started

I started today off with a lot of pain from a pinched nerve in my shoulder.  I don’t know what possessed me, but I decided this would be a good day to see if I’ve lost any weight.  I have been doing a low-carb diet for three and a half weeks because I heard if you can’t exercise, it’s the way to go.  I have several issues that make exercise next to impossible right now, so that’s what I opted for, even though I had wanted to spend the summer eating salads.  Boy, do I miss those right now.  Anyway, after three weeks, I had finally lost six pounds.  Now today, a mere four days later, I am up three pounds.  Needless, to say I wasn’t happy when I stepped off the scales.  So you know what kind of weight problem I have, let me tell you, if I had a talking scale, it would have one of three things to say to me – get off of me, one at a time please, or I weigh humans not zoo animals. 

So I did what you’d expect, I went to my room and cried a little about how pitiful my condition is and how mad I am that I did this to myself, even though this has been me since I was three, so really, if I’m mad at myself, I have to be mad at the toddler me, and that doesn’t make sense at all.  Then I got mad at God for not giving me a break.  After all, I have been really trying to do something to improve my condition and I’ve been really good at not cheating and I’m not asking a lot.  I don’t care if I ever lose enough weight for others to look at me and not think I need to lose some weight.  I’m not trying to lose enough to attract a man.  I have even stopped thinking I just want to do this so I’m healthy.  At this point, I have three desires.  I want to be able to breathe.  I want to be able to stand and walk without lower back pain that makes me double over in pain.  And I want to be able to lie down to sleep without pain in my shoulder.   

As I prayed and cried and prayed, I decided to try something that has worked for me many times, open the scriptures and just read whatever verse my finger landed on.  I’ve been reading the Old Testament all summer, and it opened up to Jeremiah.  I read a verse about how I haven’t been doing what God wanted me to do for other people.  Well, that didn’t help so I read the one before that, and it said I had received his message well and been righteous, but again, the next verse said I had turned from him and not done for others as he wanted.  So I cried some more.  Then I decided to listen to a guided meditation I had recorded for myself months ago.  I knew it would make me feel better because it always does, but it also helps me to prepare for meaningful prayer, and that’s what I really wanted.  As I meditated, I got the message that I should blog about my experience and start a Facebook page for people struggling with the same issues as me and that I should share my meditations with others.  So here it is. 

I am starting this with no idea of how it will turn out, knowing many others have done similar things and hoping that I won’t end up regretting this.  I do have faith, however, in prayer and in spiritual promptings.  I believe this is what I am supposed to do.  If you desire to improve your relationship with God, with your own body and to achieve something you’ve never been able to do before, join me.  This will start out as a spiritual and mental exercise and move into the physical.  I have a feeling we’ll all be surprised with where this goes.