What Lack I Yet?

When Jesus said, “Be ye therefore perfect even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect,” that was not the first time recorded in scripture that such a commandment was given.  In Genesis 17, Abram is commanded to be perfect.  In Deuteronomy 18:13, the Israelites are told, “Thou shalt be perfect with the Lord thy God.”  After Solomon gave the dedicatory prayer for the temple, he blessed his people, saying, “Let your heart therefore be perfect with the Lord our God, to walk in his statutes, and to keep his commandments, as at this day.” (1 Kings 8:61) 

When the king of the Kingdom of Judah sought the aid of Syria to fight the Kingdom of Israel, he was told that, because he foolishly sought help from someone other than the Lord, he would be at war for the rest of his life.  The prophet told King Asa, “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.” 

We all know the clichés used to excuse our imperfections.  No one is perfect.  I’m only human.  Despite those declarations on an almost unanimous scale, perfection is possible, even in this life, as it is defined by the Lord.  Noah and Job are both described in the Old Testament as being perfect.  Yet Paul tells us in Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”  So being perfect does not mean to never sin.   Rather it means to be with the Lord, to depend on him, to turn to him for guidance and support, to have our desires focused on him, to accept his will as our own, to live according to his laws, and to recognize when we fall short and make immediate correction through repentance. 

When a rich, young man asked Jesus what he should do to get eternal life, Jesus told him to obey the commandments.  He said he was already doing that.  Then he asked the big question, “What lack I yet?”  Jesus’ answer to him was, “If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast and give to the poor,” and then he was instructed to, “Come and follow me.”  He was a righteous, young man who was obeying the laws of God, but he was so attached to his material possessions that he could not give them up.  Apparently he desired those riches.  They stood between him and perfection. 

We each need to ask the question, “What lack I yet?”  Is there something that stands between us and complete devotion to the Lord?  Is there something we rely on when we should be relying on him?  Do we have desires or attachments in our lives that prevent us from having that spiritually-minded focus at all times?  We may not be ready for the answer.  We may turn away from the answer in sorrow, as that young man did, but if we are ready to take another step in our spiritual progression, we may find the courage and the strength to take the next step toward perfection. 

This journey is my next step, and though I am attempting to turn my desires away from food by turning them to the Lord with perfect reliance on him, I find that sometimes I am sad, just like that young man.  Turning my heart from something I am comfortable with is not easy, even when I am turning it to something that is far better.  Change is always hard, and change on this scale is painful.  It feels unnatural sometimes and definitely unfair.  At times it feels too difficult and even impossible, but when the load gets too heavy to bear and I feel ready to give up, I remind myself that Jesus said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”  

Love the One You're With

I have a spiritual strength that far exceeds my physical weaknesses.  Generally when I think about who I am, I relate to my spiritual and intellectual self, and I have accepted my physical self only because it is part of the package. 

Because I believe in an all-knowing, all-powerful God, I believe that there is purpose in everything.  This life and everything I experience is part of his plan for me to become the person he knows I can become. I have often thought I would not want someone else’s trials.  No matter how they compare to my own, whether easier or harder, they are not meant for me.  They are not what I need, and on some level, my spirit recognizes that and embraces my challenges as my necessities. 

I am now trying to look at my body through those eyes.  Many bodies are more beautiful, more aesthetically pleasing, stronger and healthier than mine.  (There are also bodies that are weaker and sicker and more handicapped than mine.)  It does no good to covet a better body or to lament the one I have.  It is important to realize that the body I have was made specifically for me.  I was not arbitrarily assigned a body.  This body, with its specific strengths, weaknesses, proportions and limitations, is exactly what I need to learn, change and progress as I move toward perfection.  Only the temptations this body struggles with can help me overcome my weaknesses and develop those virtues I lack.  Only the experiences of this body can enrich my time on this earth.  My soul has specific needs, and this is the body that will lead me to the fulfillment of those needs.

I am not a latecomer to obesity.  I reached this state before the age of five, probably around three.  Not one thing in my life has not in some way been touched by that fact.  Every experience has been colored, promoted, enhanced, retarded or prevented by it.  So all of the things I have learned or accomplished in life to arrive at who I am right now are thanks in part to this body.  Everything that I have not experienced or been exposed to are also in part thanks to this body.  This isn’t just a fat body I happen to be in.  It really is me.  It is exactly what I require on my path through mortality. 

Whatever it looks like at this time, whatever problems it currently carries, it has produced results in my being that are very appealing and satisfying to my soul, so I have found a great appreciation for this body that is not coveted by anyone and is not reverenced by most.  Still it is what is taking me toward perfection if I can just stay the course and continue to let my body and my spirit work together in harmony with the Holy Ghost as he guides me through the rest of this mortal test.     

Mind, Body and Spirit

The body is the instrument of the spirit.  The brain is part of the physical body.  So just as the spirit uses the body for physical activity, touching and feeling, it uses the brain to think.  Of course the spirit can think without a body, so it can think without a brain, but once the spirit is encased in a physical body, the brain becomes very important to how the spirit functions.

Some brains are damaged from birth.  Some are damaged in accidents later in life.  Some lose the ability to remember and think clearly with age.  Other brains are sharp with heightened abilities to take in knowledge, ponder and figure out intricate correlations between bits of information.  Some brains stay clear and healthy all through life, never falling prey to the ravages of time.  In our human limitation, we say that some people are smart and others are not.  For some it is easy to understand and use what we hear or read.  For others it is a chore just to do simple tasks.  All of this has to do with the physical brain.  It may or may not have to do with the spirit. 

Some spirits are certainly more intelligent than others, but at the same time, some just seem to be less intelligent in this life because of the ability of their physical brain to do what their spirit might desire to do.  In other words, the condition of our brain can determine how well our spirit is able to function intellectually in this life.  However, it has been proven time and time again that people with limited intellectual ability are often the most naturally spiritually-minded people in this world.  That does not mean that the highly intelligent can’t be spiritual as well. 

By now you should be asking yourself, “What does this have to do with being able to lose weight?”  Well, I don’t know for sure, but I think it has a lot to do with overcoming the weakness that has led me to have a negative relationship with food and my body, which has led to the weight problem I am currently addressing. 

Scientists say we mortals only use a tiny percentage of our brain.  I believe, when we are resurrected, perfected beings, our spirits will be using much more of our brains and someday will be using all of our brains.  Right now, our spirits are just learning how to use the brain, and it’s a bit of a slow process, slower for some than others. 

To not get too far into this topic, I want to just skip ahead to why I think it’s important to understand the spirit/brain connection just a little.  When I’ve thought about the challenge of the spirit dominating the body rather than the body dominating the spirit, I believe I have sometimes actually been struggling with the brain versus the body, not the spirit versus the body.  Because my brain is part of my physical self, it is only as old as my body.  My spirit, however, is as least thousands of years old.  My spirit knows so much more than my physical self knows.  My brain is the part of me that is learning and controlling my body when I deliberate about what diet to follow or whether or not I want to exercise.  It is my brain that has to learn life and God and all things physical as well as spiritual.  My spirit is currently learning how to use a body and trying to guide my brain to open up to the spiritual knowledge that it already possesses. 

My true spiritual self that is not hampered by limitations of my brain is in charge when I have spiritual experiences.  When I am using my intellect, my spirit can only do what the brain is capable of doing.  So I keep trying to learn more and more in order to increase my spirit’s ability to function with this brain. 

Again, what does that have to do with losing weight?  All right, when the decision to eat or not eat comes from my brain, I am involved in the battle between brain and body.  My body is wanting to eat, to experience the taste and texture of food.  I may or may not be hungry.  If I am hungry, then it’s all good.  This is the way the body and brain are supposed to work.  The body is hungry.  It needs nourishment.  The brain says, “Okay, have this.”  But sometimes I want to eat and keep eating when I’m not hungry at all, even when I’m full.  The body doesn’t want that food.  The body isn’t hungry.  The body may even feel uncomfortably full, but sometimes my brain is still telling me it wants food because it’s looking for something else.  This is called emotional eating.  It’s not the body.  It’s not the spirit.  It’s the brain.  If I just try to get control of those thoughts or keep myself from acting on them, then I am just trying to control my physical self. 

To make real change requires the participation of the spirit.  That means the desires of the brain will change when the spirit is coming into the picture and dominating the physical self, the body and the brain.  The spirit will keep out those obsessive, compulsive thoughts that lead to the undesired behavior.  So how do we do that?  “To be carnally-minded is death; but to be spiritually-minded is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6)

We must lift ourselves up spiritually.  We have to seek spiritual experiences.  We have to repent, change those things in our lives that are not in line with the laws of God.  I decided at the beginning of the year that I was going to do this weight-loss thing spiritually this time, and I spent six months building up my spiritual strength and not trying to control my eating at all.  At the beginning of June, I knew I was ready to change my eating habits, and I did it without any struggle between my brain and my body – no cravings, no cheating, no obsessing about food I couldn’t have, no wanting to eat when I wasn’t hungry. 

I use meditations designed to create patterns in my brain that keep me from turning to thoughts of food when I have emotional issues arise.  I use daily prayer and scripture study to do my best to be spiritually-minded.  I am even sharing my experience through this blog as a way to help train my brain to do what my spirit is directing me to do.  

This is not the quickest way to lose weight.  It took six months to even get started, but I hope it will be a permanent change in my body as well as in my brain.  I am looking for much more than weight loss.  I am looking to become the best person I can be, mind, body and spirit.  

Love Your Body

Today I invite you to meditate a bit on why you should love and appreciate your body.   Elder Boyd K. Packer said that the body is the instrument of the spirit and that the body has delicate physical senses that have to do with spiritual communication.  Let’s first consider what it means to be an instrument. 

If you have a nail that you want to put into a piece of wood, you are going to find that it’s impossible to do without having something to hit the nail with.  No matter how much you hold that nail in your hand and push it and even pound on the wood, the nail is not going to go into the wood, but if you hold the nail against the wood with one hand and carefully and precisely hit the nail on the head with the correct instrument, such as a hammer, the nail will go into the wood without much trouble at all. 

The instrument provides power and makes accomplishing the task simple, natural and smooth – if you know how to correctly use the instrument.  Such is the relationship between our spirit and our body.  Once the spirit gains control of the body, understands how to treat it and use it, the spirit has an added dimension of strength and power.  The body is the tool or instrument that the spirit needs to bring about its purposes, to accomplish its goals.

Relative to the spiritual communication, feeling the Holy Ghost is a spiritual experience, but it is a physical feeling.  People describe it as a warm, full feeling, even a pressure in the chest.  It radiates warmth throughout the torso, sometimes a tingling sensation.  It wells up in some people to the point that they can’t sit still and keep quiet.  They feel compelled to speak up.  We say we were prompted.  It is as though something has pushed us from within.  This is possibly happening in the mind as well, the pushing and thinking that we should say or do something, but in my experience, once I thought about it, I have noticed there is also a physical aspect to the promptings.  Sometimes the experience with the Holy Ghost causes one to tremble, shake or cry -- again, physical manifestations of a spiritual experience. 

I challenge you to remember times when you have felt the Spirit, when you have felt especially close to God, when you have really been moved by a sermon or something you have read.  Think about how you actually felt.  You can even think about how much you love someone.  These are things we have thought of as being in our thoughts and in our emotions, but if you pay attention to how you feel, you will realize that the feelings are physical. 

Now try to imagine what it would feel like without a body.  What would that love or joy or peace feel like if you didn’t have your physical body to feel the warmth, the expansion, the tingling, the quickening breath? 

That is why our soul has a physical component.  That is why we are more blessed and more powerful as embodied spirits than those who are without the physical aspect of their being.  That is why those spirits who are separated from their bodies and are awaiting the resurrection feel as though they are in bondage (D&C 45:17). 

So no matter what shape your body is in, love it, appreciate it and care for it.  You will miss it when it’s gone.  You will long to be returned to it.  It is a beautiful gift of our Heavenly Father that brings with it many challenges and a lot of opposition to our desire to be spiritually-minded, but this life gives us the opportunity to truly become masters of our own vessel if we allow the Spirit to be our guide. 

True Change

It’s said that this lifetime is a mere spec on the continuum of eternity.  Compared to our time in the pre-mortal world and the infinity of time to come after, it is such a small moment, it’s hard to believe that it’s so important.  One of the reasons we have this mortal experience is to get a body, and yet we spend a very limited amount of time in the body before we die and are once again a disembodied spirit.  Why is that?  Why do we obtain a physical body and then have to give it up so quickly and be without again for a time before we have it forever?  It’s as though this life is just a test run. 

We get a body and learn what it’s like to have one, and most of us go a little crazy in one way or another.  Eating, drinking, drugs, sex, exercise, extreme sport, tattoos, piercings, bodybuilding, body sculpting, cosmetic surgery are all things that we get caught up in as we experience life in a physical body for the first time.  We tend to lose our way as the physical becomes our reality.  It seems to be the part that is truly living and experiencing and being affected.  Many lose sight completely of the spirit and either worship or abuse their body with extreme behaviors of one type or another. 

Most of us struggle with how to live happily in our bodies.  We do things for pleasure that end up causing pain.  We are unhappy with the way we look or feel.  Others influence how we see ourselves.  At first our bodies are tiny, and we don’t know how to do anything.  They grow and change, and either we learn to control our physical urges, or they control us.   We learn to do what we want in the body.  We experience the power and ability as well as the desires and passions.  Some of us try to overcome the negative drives, while others just wallow in the base nature of those drives.  But just when we get to where we have the ability and power and knowledge to do well in our bodies, they start to deteriorate.  They are harmed by disease, misuse, neglect, injury or just aging.  We lose control.  We stop using the body to some extent and may become trapped inside a physical case that does nothing but cause us pain.  Finally, it can contain us no more because it can’t live any longer.  What’s that all about?  It’s not only a test run but a taste of what we will have for eternity that is then taken away.

 What is the purpose then of living without the body, after having one, before we are resurrected?  After much pondering, I believe it is so we can learn spiritually to appreciate the physical feelings and abilities, learn to understand and correctly use and control the body.  Many of us are incapable of doing that while in the body because we refuse to put in the time and effort required.  Before we get a perfected, glorified, eternal body, we have to be in control of all physical urges.  For many of us, the only way to teach us how to have the spirit dominate the physical is to remove the body but not the physical urges.

Elder Melvin J. Ballard said that overcoming physical addiction or weakness is easier in the body than without it.  If we do not do it in this life, we will be compelled to overcome our physical weaknesses after we die, which seems to indicate they are not physical weaknesses at all.  We are no longer physical in nature, and yet President Kimball said we will not be resurrected until we have overcome all weaknesses.  So they are actually spiritual weaknesses that are connected to the body or manifest in the body in a physical way.  So everything is spiritual. 

It stands to reason that if we can overcome a physical weakness when we do not have a body, then we can overcome the weakness while in the body by using our spiritual strengths.  How does that look?  Well, when we try to change some aspect of our behavior, such as eating, if we are using willpower, logic and reasoning, we are using our brain, which is the thinking part of our physical body.  So instead of changing the way we eat by using willpower and trying to change the way we think about food, we want to use our spiritual abilities.  

The spirit is our conscience.  It is what tells us what is right and wrong.  It is what connects us to Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost.   To have the power of the spirit, we have to be getting the right input through scripture study and prayer.  We have to avoid input that separates us from the Spirit.  We need to increase our desire to make righteous choices.  

This is where the neuropsychology model of thoughts, feelings, behaviors and reality come into play.  Our thoughts will be more in line with the Spirit if we are hearing, seeing, reading, and talking about uplifting things and avoiding sinful, degrading and negative input.  Those things will change our feelings.  We will feel peace, happiness, joy, contentment, tranquility, compassion, hope, and love, and we will believe that anything is possible.  Doubts, fears, anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, depression and hopelessness will disappear.  Because of the change in the way we feel, we will begin to act differently.  In fact, we begin to act as though the change we are seeking has already happened, because we feel as if it has.  And acting that way just gives rise to new thoughts that bring even better feelings that continue to reinforce the changed behavior until we become a new person.  We have become who we want to be.  This is how we change spiritually.  This is how we can make permanent change.  We have to continue to follow this pattern with the reinforcing thoughts and feelings until the old ways of acting are no longer what come  naturally.  

Monster in My Soul

Food started out as a gift from God, an enjoyable commodity to nourish and strengthen the body, to give it energy and nutrients necessary for life in this mortal body.  It became my friend because it was always there, always pleasant, always satisfying, even when I was lonely, needing an emotional connection but not knowing how to get one or being too reluctant to try because of shyness.  

Over time, food became a jealous friend, wanting all my attention and all my time.  It enticed me to depend on it for everything.  It inserted itself into every aspect of my life, my mind and my body.  It got control of my conscious thought and then my subconscious existence as well.  It began to manipulate me and trick me into dangerous behaviors.  It enticed me to take risks with my health.  It encouraged excessive use in an attempt to meet needs completely unrelated to eating. 

Food became this evil spirit that possessed my body and took control of my brain.  It became my enemy, an enemy that stayed close and pretended to be my friend.  I came to hate what food was doing to me, but it convinced me that the way to feel better was to eat something “good”.

It was a hidden or disguised enemy for so long, but once I started fighting back, it came out into the open.  There was no more hiding, no secret manipulation, no stealthy cravings or sneaky enticements.  It was just a blatant show of force, as it told me to eat what I knew would give me the opposite of what I wanted.  It no longer even pretended to be my friend.  It became my captor.  Food had held me as a prisoner without me realizing it, but I came to see the bars and feel the restraints, and as I struggled to break free, they tightened around me.  Every time I started to get loose, I felt myself suddenly jerked back into submission and confinement. 

But I had also tasted freedom, even if only for a few short moments.  I remembered that in those months when I was free of the obsessive thoughts of food, free of the compulsion to eat, I felt such relief.  I felt calm and peaceful.  I was satisfied with my small meals of fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains.  I didn’t think about food.  I was amazed that I had no desire to eat when I wasn’t hungry.  I was not drawn to eat anything for any reason other than to fuel my body.  And then the healthy food I carefully planned and prepared for myself was enough.  Enough was enough.  No excess, no craving, no compulsion.  I was free.

That became my desire, to feel that freedom again and to have it last forever.  I want to know and always remember that food is just fuel for my body.  I do not need to eat something just because it’s there.  I do not need to try all new offerings because they look good.  I do not need to eat something just because I like it.  I am not missing out on anything by not eating even the most scrumptious, enticing dishes.  Food is just food.  There is nothing magical or special about it.  It cannot make me happy or give me peace.  It cannot increase my worth.  It cannot solve my problems, unless my problems are hunger and nutrition.

Deep in my soul hides a monster, and I want it out.  

Body and Food: Friends or Foes

For much of my life I didn’t exactly hate my body, but I didn’t really want it.  It felt like my enemy.  It did not represent who I felt that I actually was, and I couldn’t control it.  It seemed to betray me and give me failure over and over.  I loved who I was mentally and spiritually, but my physical self seemed to be separate and foreign to that part of me I liked.  So I neglected and abused my physical self for years.  Even when I tried to lose weight, it was not usually in a healthy way that respected the needs of my body.  I was completely out of control physically.  The natural man was in control of my body.  It was all wrapped up in being carnally-minded, devilish and sensual — whether I was wallowing in what made me fat or fighting it. 

Food, on the other hand, I treated as though it were my best friend — couldn’t live without it, wouldn’t want to.  I used it to search for happiness, pleasure, companionship, consolation, celebration, and comfort.  I thought about it all the time.  It was my obsession.  I wasn’t a binge eater.  I didn’t eat enormous amounts of food at one time.  I just ate the wrong foods and ate whenever I wanted to.  It had nothing to do with being hungry or needing nourishment.  It was all emotional. 

I decided a few years ago I needed to attack this problem from the spiritual side of things.  That meant I needed to completely change my relationship with my body, and that required really getting a testimony of why I’m better off with a body than without.  I knew that the soul is the body and the spirit together.  I accepted that the body is the temple of my spirit.  I knew that obtaining a body was one of the main reasons I was born into this mortal world and that Satan’s punishment for rebelling against God is that he will never have one.  At that time, I only had an intellectual acceptance of those facts.  I trusted the source of the information and didn’t doubt its veracity.  I just did not understand it.  I couldn’t feel it.  I needed to have that confirmation from the Holy Ghost that would take it into my heart so that it would change my way of thinking and acting.  I had to get past that feeling that my body was just a case for my spirit and truly come to see that it is as much a part of me as my spirit is. 

I came to this decision to get a testimony of the importance of the body in May of 2009.  A lot has changed since then.  One of the first things I was prompted to meditate on was the fact that we take the sacrament in memory of the body and blood of Jesus Christ, the physical aspects of who he is, not his spirit, though we do it so that we can have his spirit to be with us.  So we are constantly reminded that even God has a body.  That led me to ponder why He has a body.  Why is he more powerful because of his body?  Why does having a body make me more powerful?  What is the connection between a particular body and the spirit it houses?  How does having a body relate to the purpose of this mortal life?  Why do we get a body and are then separated from it for a time before we are resurrected in an eternal bond of body and spirit?  How has having a body benefitted me already? 

I learned the answers to all those questions and more, and I will be sharing what I learned in my future blogs.  As I wrote, I started on this quest in 2009.  Since then I have lost a significant amount of weight and gained it back.  Why wasn’t I able to succeed and make the change permanent?  Well, the answer, I believe, is that my body and its condition drives me to study so that I can learn, and I hadn’t learned enough, so the challenge remained.  I don’t know if I’ve learned enough yet, but I know that I am once again in the right place to attempt change because I once again have the desire.  And I’m sharing this now because I want to share some of what I have learned, and I felt prompted to share now, not after I have changed.  My hope is that the sharing will help me to change as well as inspire others to do the same. 

By the way, out of curiosity, I checked my weight again this morning, and the three pounds that prompted me to start this are gone.  Thought so.  And because this is psychological for me, now that I’ve weighed three times in less than two weeks, I won’t be doing much more of that for a while.  

Let's Get This Party Started

I started today off with a lot of pain from a pinched nerve in my shoulder.  I don’t know what possessed me, but I decided this would be a good day to see if I’ve lost any weight.  I have been doing a low-carb diet for three and a half weeks because I heard if you can’t exercise, it’s the way to go.  I have several issues that make exercise next to impossible right now, so that’s what I opted for, even though I had wanted to spend the summer eating salads.  Boy, do I miss those right now.  Anyway, after three weeks, I had finally lost six pounds.  Now today, a mere four days later, I am up three pounds.  Needless, to say I wasn’t happy when I stepped off the scales.  So you know what kind of weight problem I have, let me tell you, if I had a talking scale, it would have one of three things to say to me – get off of me, one at a time please, or I weigh humans not zoo animals. 

So I did what you’d expect, I went to my room and cried a little about how pitiful my condition is and how mad I am that I did this to myself, even though this has been me since I was three, so really, if I’m mad at myself, I have to be mad at the toddler me, and that doesn’t make sense at all.  Then I got mad at God for not giving me a break.  After all, I have been really trying to do something to improve my condition and I’ve been really good at not cheating and I’m not asking a lot.  I don’t care if I ever lose enough weight for others to look at me and not think I need to lose some weight.  I’m not trying to lose enough to attract a man.  I have even stopped thinking I just want to do this so I’m healthy.  At this point, I have three desires.  I want to be able to breathe.  I want to be able to stand and walk without lower back pain that makes me double over in pain.  And I want to be able to lie down to sleep without pain in my shoulder.   

As I prayed and cried and prayed, I decided to try something that has worked for me many times, open the scriptures and just read whatever verse my finger landed on.  I’ve been reading the Old Testament all summer, and it opened up to Jeremiah.  I read a verse about how I haven’t been doing what God wanted me to do for other people.  Well, that didn’t help so I read the one before that, and it said I had received his message well and been righteous, but again, the next verse said I had turned from him and not done for others as he wanted.  So I cried some more.  Then I decided to listen to a guided meditation I had recorded for myself months ago.  I knew it would make me feel better because it always does, but it also helps me to prepare for meaningful prayer, and that’s what I really wanted.  As I meditated, I got the message that I should blog about my experience and start a Facebook page for people struggling with the same issues as me and that I should share my meditations with others.  So here it is. 

I am starting this with no idea of how it will turn out, knowing many others have done similar things and hoping that I won’t end up regretting this.  I do have faith, however, in prayer and in spiritual promptings.  I believe this is what I am supposed to do.  If you desire to improve your relationship with God, with your own body and to achieve something you’ve never been able to do before, join me.  This will start out as a spiritual and mental exercise and move into the physical.  I have a feeling we’ll all be surprised with where this goes.